


feeling like a nonbeliever

by lovethevoid



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Flirting, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 00:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethevoid/pseuds/lovethevoid
Summary: bullet through my heart, dancing in the dark





	feeling like a nonbeliever

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is set to go alongside season 1, episode 17 of royal television!
> 
> also I'm Sorry if my paragraph breaks are whack. i don't really kno what to tell ya,

Dan was never a particularly observant person.

There were always other people around, quicker than him, better with that sort of thing. He wasn't sure if Remington was one of those people, but he knew Remington was far more familiar with Sebastian than he was. That's why it came as a shock when Remington, misleadingly casual, said "I can't believe Seb likes you."

Dan's mind worked overtime to unpack that sentence in a timely fashion. He struggled with his words before managing a "What?", high-pitched and squeaky in his own ears.

Remington looked over at him, with an expression that screamed _are you fucking kidding me_. His makeup was half-done, red eyeshadow smudged in wicked rings around his eyes. He turned back to his reflection, tilting his head as he shook the liquid eyeliner in his hand, continuing. "Really?" Was all he said, his tone flat.

Dan let that word wash over him as he watched Remington line his eyes. Really what? Sebastian liked him? Surely platonically. Sebastian didn't do romantic feelings, not really. He was maybe just one step above "emotionally closed off" (a title Emerson held with much pride - when he felt pride).

Dan was willing to chalk it up to Remington being dramatic, at least for now. They were on in 20, and he couldn't afford to be thinking about Sebastian in any way other than co-worker turned friend. Best friend. Lover? Never.

Dan would be a blatant liar if he tried to say he never imagined him and Sebastian as a "more than" situation, thoughts he played in his mind while he tried to fall asleep. They were distant fantasies, but they were _there_ , though not insistent when he and Seb were around each other. Not usually. Not even when they're both drunk and Seb is pulling him into a hug, all velvet and bones. 

Shit.

Dan turned away without answering, leaving Remington to the rest of his routine. He kept his head down, stalking through the venue, up and down long dark halls. Twenty minutes until the show, where he can lose himself, get out of his mind a bit. Only twenty minutes. They were somewhere in the south, he already forgot where. Emerson told him once or twice or a thousand times just today. 

It wasn't remarkable. After this many consecutive days on tour, everything starts bleeding together. And anyway, he was just the bassist - he never needed to ask Random Town how they were doing tonight. He just stood stage right and tried to keep his shit together for an hour.

He wasn't sure if the latter was getting easier or harder.

\- - -

They're both drunk after the show. Sebastian's still sweaty, stuck inside a dark pinstriped suit, gripping a bottle of gin in his left hand like it's the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. His brothers were outside with Jason and Luis,and Dan could hear some sort of commotion through the walls of the bus from whatever bullshit they were getting up to.

Dan wanted to be out there, but he had a hell of a headache and was nursing a whiskey, sitting on the shitty couch across from Seb. Neither of them spoke, a tense silence stretching between them. Dan could feel Seb's eyes on him and elected to look anywhere else: the floor, the ceiling, his half-empty glass. He hoped he didn't seem as nervous as he felt.

"I'm glad you're on this tour." Sebastian spoke finally, and he sounded honest enough. 

Dan nodded, risked a glance over at him. He was taking off his suit jacket, and he looked smaller without it - more vulnerable. Dan swallowed a swig of whiskey, then smiled. "Yeah, no, I'm glad to be here." 

Sebastian stood up, leaving the bottle on the table as he folded the blazer. "That's good. Glad you don't hate it." He replied, unbuttoning his vest as he continued. "You're not burnt out yet, right?"

Dan suddenly really wished he was outside now, instead of watching Seb get undressed in front of him. Seb was casual, unbothered by the situation, and it's not supposed to come across as sexual but it _does_ and Dan's praying that his face wasn't as red as it felt. "Nah. It's exciting, y'know? Travelling, hanging out with you guys." He said, which wasn't entirely untrue. He was probably definitely a bit burnt out.

Seb smiled, folding the vest and setting it atop the jacket. He approached slow, languid, so casual in his movements as he sat beside Dan, their legs close enough to touch. "Cool," He said, his voice soft, and Dan couldn't stop himself from looking over at him.

Seb's right hand went to Dan's cheek, his thumb softly stroking the bone. "You're blushing." He said, a smirk creeping onto his face.

Dan's first instinct was to pull away, and he flinched just a bit at the touch. "I wonder why." He deadpanned, looking rapidly between each of Seb's eyes. He felt...frantic. Not even the alcohol was helping at this point.

Sebastian leaned in then, and Dan could feel his warm breath against his own lips. "Is this okay?" Seb prompted, and his eyes were low, avoiding Dan's gaze.

"I don't know." Dan whispered. 

"You can tell me to stop anytime." Seb said, closing the distance and pressing his lips against Dan's. It starts out slow, and all Dan could hear was his own heartbeat as Seb deepened this kiss. 

Dan's hands went hesitantly to Seb's waist, sliding beneath the hem of his shirt to rest against his warm skin. Seb pulled away, breath catching in his throat, and it was Dan's turn to smirk. "I didn't say stop." He commented, pressing his thumbs in slightly.

Seb rolled his eyes. "Shut up. Don't be an asshole about it." He answered, letting his hand move back to tangle in Dan's hair, catching and pulling on the snags.

Dan winced at the feeling as Seb tugged harder. "Quit that." He said, and he could hear Seb's bracelets jingling beside his ear. 

"Aww," Sebastian cooed, learning in to press a kiss to Dan's cheek. "Don't like getting your hair pulled, huh?" He stated, phrased it like a question, punctuating it with another firm yank.

Dan dug his blunt nails into Seb's sides, eliciting a sharp gasp from the taller man. "Whatever. You're the one who started this shit." He said, watching Seb closely. Things felt warm and heavy, like there was a blanket draped over the two of them. 

Seb made a face and kissed Dan again. "Oh, don't hurt my feelings, Daniel." He hummed. "You know I'm fragile." His fingers curled tighter in Dan's hair.

It was overwhelming in a good sort of way. "Okay, alright. What exactly are you trying to get out of all this?" Dan asked, his voice going slightly thin. The whiskey was finally kicking in, making him feel bold; though nowhere close to as audacious Seb was. He was working on it.

Seb seemed coy. "I want to ask you a favor." He said coolly, smiling again. He went in for another kiss, deep and dominating and insufferably hot. They stayed like that for a long moment until Dan pulled away to suck in shaky breaths.

"Of what sort?" Dan pried, feeling a bit lightheaded. He could almost extrapolate what Seb was going to say, but waited patiently for the answer anyway.

"Ah...sexual." Seb replied, keeping his tone even. He watched as Dan raised his eyebrows and laughed a little. "You don't even know the details yet, babe." He added, as if that made it any more normal.

All Dan's mind could produce was _Remington was right_ on loop in his thoughts. Instead of saying that, he settled for "Go on."

"Well, have you ever..." Seb paused, rethinking his choice of words. They were still only inches apart, and he was speaking barely above a whisper. His lids were dropped, focusing on Dan's lips. "I want to - uh, bluntly? I want you to let me ride you."

Dan choked, gripping Seb's sides like a vice. "I don't think that's allowed." was all he could manage, feeling his face burn. He was thankful Seb wasn't trying particularly hard to keep eye contact. "Also, we're on the bus."

Seb shrugged at that. "Emerson wanted to go see some JFK shit and everyone's going with him and it's gonna take fucking forever." He sounded confident as he adjusted himself, throwing his leg out in order to straddle Dan's lap.

There wasn't enough air in the world for Dan to breathe.

Sebastian looked so pretty, the low lights of the bus highlighting the angles of his face. He was a comforting weight on Dan's lap, and Dan wondered how he had gone his whole life without it.

"You're hard." Sebastian said, and for a moment, his confident façade flickered. He looked vulnerable for a split second, pleading.

Dan couldn't have said no even if he wanted to (and he didn't). It mostly came down to pushing Seb's buttons now, seeing how far he could press it. "Yeah. Lucky coincidence."

Seb huffed. "Is that a yes?"

Dan pressed a kiss to his jawline. "I'll think about it." He said, bringing a hand up to work on the knot in the ribbon around Seb's throat.

Seb tilted his head back to give him better access, sighing heavily. "C'mon, Curcio. Be a good boy for me." He encouraged.

That terminology made Dan feel warm all over. "Don't call me that." He said weakly, not really meaning it as he dropped the ribbon aside.

"Wanna call me daddy?" Seb teased, leaning forward to bite at Dan's lower lip.

"Fuck." Dan answered. Not particularly eloquent, but it made Seb laugh. "Yeah. Okay. Not about the daddy bullshit -" He struggled, not for the first time, to string together a coherent sentence. "You can. But if anyone catches us, I'm going to murder you. Like, legitimately."

Seb rolled his eyes. "No you won't. And anyway, no one's gonna show up. I know how this works."

Dan was a second away from asking him to elaborate, but then they were kissing again, and his whole mind short-circuited.

\- - -

Dan had never been with a man before, but he wasn't entirely sure that Sebastian was the best choice for first experiences.

The next morning, Seb acted like nothing had happened. They went to soundcheck together, casual, so inexplicably normal that Dan wondered if he hallucinated last night's occurrences altogether.

Dan was also quickly realizing he couldn't do that whole "no strings attached" shit. He was tied up like a fucking marionette for Seb.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW my first fic for this fandom!!! I'm so happy to be here folks. i wasn't sure if this should be rated T or M so ??? idk if you've got any feedback on that, lmk,


End file.
